


Death Is Tepid

by ChappytheBunny



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Feathers and Follies, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 15:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2552492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChappytheBunny/pseuds/ChappytheBunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's November 1st. It has been exactly one year since Eren has died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death Is Tepid

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble is a minor continuation of events that took place within "Feathers and Follies".

 

* * *

    **November 1st, 2014**  

* * *

I awoke to a numbing sensation; one that was pleasantly familiar, yet distinctly foreign. The feeling resonated within my chest, tickling my ribcage and playing with my heart. It was tepid, not particularly warm or cold. And as the feeling continued to grow, biting away at my skin and chewing on my extremities, my awareness, too, began to expand.

I must have been dreaming.

Warm fingers drifted down the nape of my neck, coaxing me into further consciousness. Those fingers had been professionally trained and were exceptionally skilled in many different fields of expertise, one of those fields being the ability to wake anyone up from the depths of their slumber.

I heard the sound of feathers flexing and folding, before my shoulders were curtained by the night. Delicate lips were followed by a soft voice, whereas that soft voice had been proceeded by even softer words.

"Eren. You were thrashing in your sleep."

"Trashing" may have very well been the understatement of the century.

Mewling groggily at Levi's statement, my tired eyes began to survey my surroundings. Pigments of splotchy white dotted my perspective, and as my vision gradually shifted into focus, I soon realized the chaos that my subconscious had caused.

There were feathers  _everywhere_. White feathers.  _My_ feathers.

It was difficult to make sense of a nonsensical situation. I'd fallen asleep clothed in warmth, yet I'd woken up shuddering and numb. There had to have been a piece that I wasn't properly interpreting, a file of fine print that I'd failed to read. And then I remembered it. That's right. I remembered. There was nothing else that it could have been.

I must have been dreaming.

From what I'd learned many months ago, angels dream in a different method than humans. We dream through sensation, rather than through recollection. In a dream world, humans see other humans, and we see nothing; that's just how it's always been. Likewise, whereas humans do not feel anything in their dreams, angels feel  _everything_. Every breath, every scratch - our dreams are entirely tactile.

And so, whatever I'd been dreaming about, I must have been feeling  _a lot_.

As Levi continued to softly stroke the back of my neck, I could feel myself losing control over my body. All that had been burdened by numbness began to give way to the tenderness of Levi's touch. That was something we'd discovered together, over the course of our angelic fellowship. Just as my hands could bring warmth to anything they held, Levi's brought about peace and serenity. Such a skill was a true Godsend on the nights when Elyse was feeling particularly fussy. But now that she was getting older, those unfortunate, late-night wake up calls were considerably more and more sparse.

"You're doing it again, aren't you?" And by "it", I was referring to the obvious. Levi was inflicting my person with purity, allowing me to succumb to the relaxation that I'd apparently needed. It was appreciated, it really was, but it didn't hinder me from worrying about the well-being of our child. "I didn't disturb Elyse, did I?"

"She hardly flinched."

Wow, that was actually pretty impressive. She was getting to be quite the heavy sleeper, wasn't she? If that were truly the case, her heavy sleeping would be rather beneficial for the both of us. Soon enough, Levi and I wouldn't be forced to hold back our voices during...yeah. But for now, it was probably best to still keep things quiet.

Not only relief, but another wave of tranquility washed over me as Levi had started to play with the fine hairs that brushed against my neck. I knew what he wanted to ask. He wanted to ask me what I'd been dreaming about, but some reason, the words never left his lips. He must have been waiting. For what, I wasn't entirely sure.

I repeated the thought that had been swimming around in my head, momentarily inviting him to take a look inside of my mind. "I must have been dreaming," I whispered, falling against his chest the instant he began smoothing circles into the bridge between my wings. "I can't remember what my dream was about, though. It just felt...numb."

Numb like the loss of a lover. Numb like the absence of life. Numb like the feeling of there being nothing left.

And then it hit me. It  _hit_ me.  _It hit me_.

The car. The car that had been driving just a bit too quickly. The car that had cut that corner and had skidded on that patch of black ice.

The car. The car that had hit and killed me on November 1st, 2013.

I could feel my feathers starting to fluff, as the dream had been met with realization. A dream wasn't a dream, when it was the representation of an actual event: it was a memory. A memory to be forgotten. A memory to be remembered. A memory to be endured.

Memories were the cement that made up most of angel's dreams; they were some of the only sensations that we had to build off of. Even for advanced brains like ours, it was still very difficult to fabricate an entire emotion based off of anything but a memory. But with that lesson on dreaming aside, I began to refocus my attention on Levi's mindful hands.

They'd started to slip their way past my waist and down to my hips. Giving me a tired squeeze, he spoke in a comforting, hushed voice, as he said, "It's over now. Your dream is over now."

_Your dream is over now._

That's right. Levi was always right. My dream was over. It was entirely over. I would never have to go through anything like that ever again.

Levi had known better than to say something like "it's just a dream," or "it's not real," because it  _was_. It  _was real_. That feeling of numbness. The car, the crash - all of it had been real. And whether it was a good memory or not, it would have been foolish to define it as something false.

I could feel myself slipping further and further into a state of solitude, as Levi's loving arms held me from behind. I found it funny how, at first, he'd been working a way to wake me up, and now, he was enticing me back to sleep. Not that I minded it, though. His arms were my saving grace, and when he held me, I was in Heaven.

I was grateful to Levi for not asking me to relay the details of my dream. While I could have very easily told him all about my death and how eerie it had been to relive it through sense alone, my eyelids had started to flutter and my consciousness began to fade. That's when I felt something smooth brushing against my ear. Lips? It had to have been, because just moments after I'd become aware of the seductive sensation, whispered words soon followed.

"Happy birthday, Eren."

That's right. Thanks to my dream, I'd been reminded of what today was.

Today was the day I had died. Today was the day I was reborn.

It was November 1st, 2014.

Today was my birthday.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Chappy here! 
> 
> I can't believe I'm saying this, but it has been an entire year since the first chapter of "Feathers and Follies" was published. Much like I said on my tumblr, "Feathers and Follies" is a fanfic that means more to me than I can properly explain. Not only has it touched quite a few of its readers, it has allowed me grow as a writer. With tears. Lots and lots of tears.
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank anyone and everyone who has taken the time to read this fanfic, as well as this special, anniversary drabble! It is such a special piece to me, and I hope that it has become a special piece to all of you, as well!
> 
> Honestly, I think we can all agree that, if there's one thing to take away from a story like this one, it's that…
> 
> "Everyone can use a guardian angel."
> 
> And lastly, as always, thank you so much for taking the time to read! I always, always appreciate it! (:
> 
> \- Chappy


End file.
